August 15, 2014

A New Day

A few weeks ago, I lamented the lack of hummingbirds on the porch. 

The day after I arrived home from the hospital with the Peanut... I sat outside unabashedly in my bathrobe while the apartment complex tested their fire alarms. The maintenance men were good enough to give us a warning, so we waited outside to avoid the noise. 

The Sailor made me coffee... the first I'd had since about December. I had gone off of coffee early on in pregnancy and then just never really craved it after that. After a few sleepless nights with the Peanut, I caved in and got back on the juice.

While sitting outside with that perfect cup of coffee, the sun streaming on the porch, I held my wee babe in my arms and pondered the enormity of how my life had just changed. When I looked up, a hummingbird fluttered past and onto the red flowers. 

At certain times in all of our lives we all need a little sign... for years I felt a sense of calm and relief whenever I saw a rainbow, especially if life had been difficult or I'd been through some tumultuous event. A rainbow symbolized to me that all would be well within my soul. 

I haven't seen a rainbow for a very long time. And after a night wrestling with my own hormonal tears, trying to decipher the Peanut's cries and to figure out whether I was fit to be a mother, I saw that lone hummingbird. 

And just like that... I knew that all would be well.  

Later that same day, the hummingbird returned so that both the Sailor and I could both see him. And he's been back several times since. 

Sometimes we all need a little daily reminder -- even if it's just a fleeting one.

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